Understanding: Over the last couple of weeks we have explored what it is to be single from a biblical perspective and what that means to singles now. A few things that should have been established so far:
1. It is good to be single because as you do things for the Lord you won’t be distracted in the same ways as a married person. [1Corinthians 7:32-35]
2. Everyone is single for a period of their life (fact!) though some are single for longer and a few are single all their life. Being called to, or having the gift of singleness for life is not due to your personal or physical circumstances.
3. Whichever stage of life you are in, i.e. single, married, married with 9 children, rich, poor, healthy, sick.... it is important to be content and find sufficiency in Christ alone. [2Corinthians 12:9-10, Philippians 4:11-12]
Application: Mark looked at the following practicalities of singleness and touched on a few things that may help those who are single and looking to find someone to marry. Ask the group which of these they would like to discuss in more detail. Maybe go through 2 or 3 if you have time.
1. Do you really want to get married?
QUESTION - What is your understanding of the reality of getting married and are you prepared for the change that will have to take place in your life? Marriage changes how you manage your house, finances, money, free time and even how you make the bed in the morning.
2. Whom shall I marry?
QUESTIONS - Both men and women can have a partner wish list, Is this realistic, and do we to need change our expectations?
What the bible says about whom we can marry;
• Someone who is free to marry! (Jesus spoke a lot about adultery and divorces of convenience).
• Someone who is of the opposite sex to you. (Jesus taught that marriage was to be between a man and a woman).
• Someone who is a Christian. (Paul in 1Corinthians 7:39 says that we should marry someone who is ‘in the Lord’ ).
3. How will I meet my wife/husband? a. Focus on your relationship with Jesus. b. Pray, seek Jesus, tell him you are serious about this. c. Make yourself available and make the most of yourself
QUESTION - What do you think about this process.? Should we really be so bothered about our appearance and making ourselves available if we ask God to give us a husband or wife?
4. Dating QUESTIONS - Where can singles meet people? Is this church good for singles and what can change? Are people comfortable with going on dates with people they want to get to know and what are the issues they face?
5. How will I know they are 'The One'? a. Seek advice from people who are wiser than you. b. Marriage preparation is essential before you get engaged. QUESTION – Does including others in your decision making take the romance out of engagement and marriage? Discuss
